Smart Women, Brave Choices: Do You Love What You’ve Chosen?
In 2022, I had a privileged co-authorship with one of my Dutch students on a fascinating academic article on gifted adult women. We interviewed ten exceptional women in the Netherlands—each with an IQ above 130, accelerated in school, or national-level competition winners—to explore what helped or hindered their life decisions.
At first, I was worried she might not find enough participants, but thanks to her amazing network, she quickly connected with women ranging from age 18 to 62. What emerged from the research was powerful and surprisingly consistent:
For these high-achieving women, having the opportunity to make interesting choices was the key to life satisfaction.
They didn’t wait for life to happen; they made conscious decisions and often worked to create opportunities themselves. This was true not just in their careers but in their relationships as well.
Challenging work mattered deeply. It wasn’t about money or status—many of them said that when their jobs stopped being intellectually stimulating, they looked elsewhere. Conversations that sparked new ideas, especially with talented colleagues, were a huge source of joy.
Eight out of ten participants were in relationships, and all expressed deep gratitude for their partners. Their choice of partner wasn’t about income, though most had stable careers—it was about intellectual and emotional compatibility. They valued meaningful conversations, whether about abstract ideas, politics, or philosophy. Feeling truly understood was essential.
Of course, biology shapes us in different ways, but the real game-changers were never ability or gender—they were opportunity and choice. And while we can’t always control what choices are available, we can reflect on how we choose—and take ownership of that process.
So today, to all my brilliant female friends out there:
Do you love what you've chosen? And are you choosing what you love?
You deserve to. 💫
Reference: Veldman-de Jonge, I., & Jen, E. (2022). Choices gifted women made in education, personal life, and career: A qualitative study in the Netherlands. Gifted and Talented International, 37(2), 119-133.